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We all want to get laid and we all have our sexual proclivities, and if we like something in particular we may mention it on our dating profile.

But even if there’s a recognition that we, like almost every other adult human being, sometimes enjoy having our genitals touched, there’s no need to go all porno upon first introduction. Until you’ve gone actual porno in real life, leave the porno-chat alone.

You would think “don't be a dick” would be obvious, but there are apparently legions of people (mostly dudes) who adopt crappy pick-up artist tactics in their online dating lives, and think they might get lucky by sending vaguely (or blatantly) insulting messages to unsuspecting recipients (negging is actually a thing! Is there some low-self-esteem lady out there who might respond to a message about how ugly she is?

Sure, maybe, but the odds are slim — and since this is the internet, even women who have been strongly socialized to be nice to cretins in bars are able to hit the delete key.

This is how to send a semi-decent online dating message in nine easy steps.

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Respect that and don’t waste anyone’s time – including your own.

Do you live in Tennessee and are up for some long-distance chatting but she’s in New York and wants someone local?

Move on to someone who’s interested in people of your gender, location, age, etc.

Oh and just to be clear: Commenting on how a woman could be your Nubian queen or your sweet Oriental flower is not substantive.

Even if you do have a creepy racial fetish, announcing it will do you zero favors (although if you do have a creepy racial fetish, maybe deal with that through pornography and therapy, and don’t bring real live human beings into it?




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And if you are a rich girl searching for the man of your dreams, someone who you can share your outlooks and interests in life with, then allow to help you get your perfect partner.


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We’ve all been told to guard our hearts – so does that mean we can’t even interact with the opposite sex? If you make it to the elusive dating phase, be aware of your emotions and planning for the future.


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