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“Even if you give them a little bit of room in terms of looks, that still leaves a really high bar for Asian men to be considered attractive at all.” To improve his success rate on Match.com, Maltempo created a rule for himself.Rather than cast a wide net, he would message just one woman per week.He asked himself: “Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t need it in online dating, too.] After nearly three years on Ok Cupid, Montecillo met his current girlfriend, who is Caucasian.His approach was to emphasize his interests (he and his girlfriend are both big fans of Radiotopia podcasts); and keep his profile short but interesting.He needed online dating only to “work once,” he says, and it did.In the process, Montecillo, 25, also learned to not judge himself based on others people’s standards.“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.

’ The media interests rather than culture interests made it kind of shallow.” The bias Asian men encounter in dating bleeds into other parts of their lives as well.

But when Montecillo reached the section that asked for his ethnicity, he hesitated.

Montecillo, whose parents are Filipino, was born in New York and spent 13 years living in Hong Kong.

Even though intellectually I knew it wasn’t true, but emotionally [I was] blaming myself for not meeting a seemingly objective standard of what is attractive.” MC Maltempo, a 36-year-old Korean American who grew up in Golden, Colo., also met his significant other online.

He first joined in 2006, but only started using it seriously in 2013.




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