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Any way you could do this—and there were lots of bizarre techniques with goofy names, like “peacocking,” where you might wear an outlandish hat to give people something to comment on—helped you get the access you needed to try to convince someone to sleep with you. If anything, Tinder has only facilitated this probability-based approach to courtship, but Strauss’s new book, , is about how he ended up settling down and making peace with the fact that you can’t be monogamous with everyone. But because no one had even heard of this world, and the techniques, let’s face it, are so objectifying and horrifying, that the book became the bible of what it was trying to chronicle in a more neutral way.Obviously, it was important not to seem desperate while applying these very detailed rules you learned in a self-help book. What follows is a condensed and edited transcript of a conversation I had with him recently. So I think all of a sudden there were these horrid ideas that people read about in became the origin of those ideas.basic non-falsifiable horoscope-type material she can read herself into and then find you perceptive.) It was basically a way to harness people’s love of talking about themselves in order to score.It seemed like dangerous stuff, in that it might actually work.

If you ask me today about it, I’d tell you that anything that involves manipulation or needing to have a certain outcome is definitely not healthy in any way. And I thought, how can I break the heart of, how could I hurt somebody who loves me and be so selfish? And she said, “Well no wonder you can’t be in a relationship.” And I said, “Why? And you have this realization where you’re like, no wait, that’s my personality.

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But now coming out of the other side of it, I can see how there were maybe unconscious forces operating on me that made me so obsessed, and even when I thought “the game” was over, that it still had this hold on me. It’s more controversial now than when it came out, and I think that’s a good thing for society. Gilsinan: I’m reading this book 10 years ago as a female person.

Gilsinan: It’s amazing to think of such a book coming out now and what the reaction to it might have been. Gilsinan: A lot of the criticism was, well, men are afraid of women’s sexuality, and the response to that is, yeah, obviously. To me at least, that’s entirely why this pickup community exists. To me, the biggest shock of my life, was how, myself who wrote , Tucker Max, who, well, is Tucker Max—what do we all have in common? It did have the sort of hopeful implication, that everyone’s afraid to talk to attractive people and just to strangers more generally, but you can follow this set of rules and you’re basically guaranteed to get laid.

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