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When I said I had no cash on me, he said to come with him and that he takes cards."So I walked all the way up the beach with him and met another dude, who had a card machine."We were still left wanting for more, though," she added."We brought 10 yokes and a bag of mdma with us, and then we bought two bags of cocaine here - one in Bar Amsterdam, where we got a bad deal, and one off a Senegalese street vendor. We met him outside a bar on Salinas Beach in the south of the island.Just like the ladies, I also went to Bar Amsterdam in San Antonio - Ibiza's very own Magaluf.My favourite prisoner, Michaella Mc Collum, 24, from Dungannon, was allegedly introduced to the drug cartel through a low-level drug dealer there.It was more expensive than normal, €80, but it was convenient, as it was our last night. There's always a fear of getting scammed here unless you have reliable sources," she added.

That particular handsome badge is bestowed upon groomed Italians, Spanish or South Americans who don't drink the head off themselves all night, then sleep all day.

Soon after, she was famously caught trying to smuggle 11.5kg of cocaine through Lima airport in Peru, with Scots woman Melissa Reid.

When I saw her last - in Lima's Virgen de Fatima prison in October 2013 - I said I'd buy her a drink when she came out.

When we left Dublin, the main demographic on board was as anticipated: messer.

I'd been informed by a friend who flew to Ibiza a few weeks beforehand that a sniffer dog wandered up and down the queue before everyone boarded.

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did not obtain any information about whether those contacts were experienced as abusive.