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It can be alarming and uncomfortable to think about your child dating.

But don’t pretend it’s not happening (or that it won’t at some point), whether your child has brought it up or not.

If your child’s grades are dropping or they aren’t spending much time with friends anymore, consider limiting how much time is being spent with that special someone. It can be a difficult conversation for everyone involved, but it’s critical to be honest and clear about the facts.

With first relationships come first breakups, and those can be painful.

Many guys just don’t know how to deal with a child that isn’t theirs and it becomes immediately evident to the child, even when the mom is disillusioned into thinking that the guy is perfect.

Ask your Teen: If you have a teenager it is very important that you get their approval after an introduction or two is made with your potential lover.

You can also consider what other parents are doing.

The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that on average, girls begin dating as early as 12 and a half years old, and boys a year older. You may be surprised to hear dating labels like “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” and “together” from the lips of your sixth-grader.

When you’ve made a decision, be clear with your child about your expectations.

Explain if and how you want your child to check in with you while they’re out, what you consider acceptable and appropriate behavior, and curfew. We may use terms like “puppy love” and “crush” to describe teenage romances, but it’s very real to them.

At this age, it probably means your son or daughter is sitting next to a special someone at lunch or hanging out at recess.

Groups play a big role in relaying information about who likes whom.

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